Experience
by SidQuin
Summary: Spirit decides to host a "Guy's Night" that ends with very unnecessary information being revealed.


Experience

It all started when Maka announced that she was going to a sleepover with some other girls from school. As much as Spirit cared about his daughter, he wasn't the most in-touch dad when it came to his daughter's social life. Outside of Tsubaki, Crona (well…maybe. Not even Maka was quite sure), and the Thompson sisters, Spirit was pretty oblivious to Maka's wide circle of female friends. So naturally, the all-girls sleepover came as a bit of a surprise.

It also came as a rather delayed reminder that Spirit didn't have much in the way of friends either, never mind male friends/buds/dudes/bros or whatever they called them these days. It's not that Spirit was unsocial or anything, it's just that between being a Death Scythe, getting married, and starting a family, he never had time to socialize with his fellow man.

With Death City being generally peaceful as of late (aside from occasional Kishin egg), his marriage having ended, and a daughter so independent she could probably take on the world and win, Spirit realized he had finally been given the free time he had always wanted, or thought he did, atleast.

With this mindset of freedom in place (as opposed to his previous mindset of "oh, god my wife and daughter hates my guts"), Spirit figured he'd finally have a long overdue "Men's Night Out".

---That Night---

And apparently by "Men's Night Out", he meant, "Hanging out with Barely-Teenage Boys". You see, while Mr. Albarn never had time to socialize with men while he was married, it never stopped him from socializing with women. So naturally, as word got around, every man in a hundred mile radius began to avoid him lest they either…

Get promptly dumped by their significant other in favor of the attractive Death Scythe.

OR

Get promptly cock-blocked from any potential booty calls so long as they were being accompanied by a man far more attractive then they could ever hope to be.

Thus, as sad is it was, it seemed Spirit's only option was to invite the few people of XY chromosome he knew, which happened to be the friends of his teenage daughter. Yes, he was aware it was a new low, even for him. He would've invited Stein, but he tended to do things to him when he passed out and Sid was on a date with Naigus (how that worked was something he tried not to think about).

Which brought him to the situation he was in now, in a living room with three boys who weren't even old enough to go bar hopping. 'Well, better then nothing. Sadly,' Spirit thought, bemoaning his fate.

As he attempted to make conversation with the younger men, he noted that Black Star was no longer in the room, "Where did---"

"Black Star's raiding your fridge, you know how he is," Soul said dryly as he eyed a picture of a young Maka and Spirit while Kid seemed preoccupied with adjusting his skull pin.

"So…is there anything you guys want to talk about?" Spirit asked rather awkwardly.

"Nothing we'd want to talk about with you, grandpa," Replied Black Star, suddenly appearing on the couch between Soul and Kid, he was a ninja after all. Soul snickered as he gave his best friend a "nice comeback" five. Kid just mumbled something about them being rude, still focusing quite intently on his supposedly off center pin.

'G-grandpa?' thought Spirit slightly disturbed, 'I'm not that old.' "Well then why'd you come?"

"Free food. Duh." Stated Black Star flatly as everyone around him sweat-dropped.

'Hmm, what are teenage boys interested in?' thought Spirit as a light bulb mentally flashed on in his head; for all he knew it was literal, he was Stein's friend after all.

"C'mooon, I'm sure there's _something_ you want to know about," inquired Spirit as he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, "I'm pretty _experienced_, you know." It was pretty by clear by now that Mr. Albarn was stooping to the lowest denominator considering he was speaking with all the subtlety of well…Black Star.

Soul only shot him a skeptical look while the king tactlessness replied quite proudly, "Oh please, don't get all full of yourself just because you're older. I've got plenty experience too! I am the man who will surpass God!" Black Star then shot Kid a smug look, which went unappreciated considering he was more interested in fiddling with a shirt accessory, thus was only half aware of his surroundings.

"You've had experience?" asked Soul only half-jokingly. As disturbing as it was think, it was within the realm of possibility; it would explain why Tsubaki put up with him,

"Actually, no," responded Black Star slightly embarrassed, a rarity in itself, "But I'm sure it'll happen any day now!" 'It's not a growth spurt,' Soul sweat-dropped.

"I've done it plenty of times and I don't see why people make such a fuss about it," spoke Kid, still doing what he had been doing throughout the meet-up. Everyone's attention immediately focused on Kid.

"Y-you're kidding, right?" Spirit laughed nervously, 'But Kid doesn't joke that much does he? But he's so young…'

"Why would I joke?" Replied Kid casually, "Liz and I do it all the time."

"What?!" screamed the other males in unison. Black Star's face was a mixture of shock and jealousy, Soul's eyes looked like they'd pop out of his head, and Spirit could only gape is distress.

"When did this happen?!" screeched Black Star, as the other two seemed incapable of voicing anything at the moment.

"Last year on October 31st," Kid replied as calmly as ever, "Patty went Trick-or-Treating, while Liz and I stayed home. We were bored so we figured now was as good a time as ever. It just happened, I suppose."

"A-and does your father knows you're doing this?" Asked Spirit, finally regaining some composure.

"No, you know how he is," Sighed Kid, "He still sees me as a child, he wouldn't approve."

"Does Patty know?" Soul added in, his eyes back to normal size.

"Of course she knows," Kid smiled as his pin finally achieved perfectly alignment, "Sometimes she even joins us. It's more fun that way, you know."

The three men could only stare at Kid with mixed reaction. Black Star looked at him with a mixture of both awe and burning jealousy, Soul decided Kid was his new hero, and Spirit felt a little queasy. 'This must be what the news reports mean when they children are growing up faster then ever.'

Kid continued as coolly as ever, "Well, I admit I was a little nervous at first since Liz had to guide me through everything. And then when Patty started joining us, it was a bit uncomfortable. Especially since Patty's always telling me to go faster while Liz tells me I should to slow down and enjoy myself so---"

"ALRIGHT THAT'S ENOUGH INFORMATION," interrupted Spirit, his face now the same color as his hair, "I think it's time for you guys to go home, now." Spirit was very close to taping Kid's mouth shut so that the young reaper could never speak again. Soul was almost equally as red, a small trickle of blood coming out his nose.

"Listen Kid, don't get all full of yourself just because you've done it before I have," Declared Black Star obnoxiously, "When I do it, I'll be a thousand times better at it then you. I'm the man who will surpass God, remember that!" With that, Black Star quickly leaped through a nearby window with gusto, completely forgetting Spirit possessed a door.

Soul only chuckled and gave Kid a pat on the back before he going home, "You're cooler then I thought, Kid."

Kid was the last to go, an oblivious expression on his face, "Well, I guess I'll be leaving now." Giving a small bow to an unresponsive Spirit, floated out the window on his skateboard.

'It's always the nice ones,' thought the Death Scythe, as he headed towards the liquor cabinet.

---The Next Day---

Kid laid snuggly between Liz and Patty on a rather small queen size, the three intently watching a TV special on giraffes as they shared a bowl of popcorn. The two blondes were resting their heads on each one of Kid's shoulders, their large endowments pressed firmly against the side of his arms, which he enjoyed (for the symmetry of course).

"Hey Kid," Liz spoke as the special switched to commercial break, "Do you know why Soul and the others have been giving us weird looks?" Grabbing some popcorn out of the bowl on the younger boy's lap.

"I'm not sure," pondered Kid, "They've been acting pretty strange ever since I told them about the driving lessons you've been giving me."

"Still doesn't explain why Soul keeps calling you Death the Pimp, though." Shrugging, the three decided some things were best left unanswered.


End file.
